The Fine Art Of Listening With Your Eyes

Having the ability to read body language is an important part of the success of any leader. Body language can be both natural and a learned behavior. In reading body language, it is important to understand that it is an art and not a science; that is, just as someone folds their arms does not necessarily mean they are being defensive—they could just be cold. It is up to you use other indicators such as your common sense to know the difference.

Here are some of the more common nonverbal signals and their generally accepted interpretations:

• Body not facing you while speaking---in other words let me go or get away me from you.
• Looking at their watch or a clock--bored.
• Doodling while you are talking--bored.
• Foot tapping--anxious, bored or disagreeing with what you are saying.
• Open body (neither arms nor legs crossed)--open minded, acceptance of you.
• Arms or legs crossed--defensive, not accepting what you are saying.
• Starting to walk away while talking--do not want to spend time talking—in a hurry.
• Fidgety hands--nervousness or lying.
• Shifty eyes--mostly lying.
• Leaning in--interested in you or what you are saying.
• Leaning away--disagreeing or uninterested in you or what you are saying.
• Hands behind head while leaning back in chair--confidence, superiority, accomplishment.
• Hand covering mouth--nervous, lying.
• Slouching/head down--lack of confidence, lack of enthusiasm.
• Playing or stroking their hair--they are very interested in you.
• Touching face--deception or they are uncomfortable with what you are saying.

Just as it is important to actively listen, it is important to actively watch or “listen” with your eyes as well as your ears.

--Adapted from Year to Success by Bo Bennett 

 

  Year To Success: Volume I